Riding the Tiger: The Cost of Divorce

In the past, those who foolishly sought power by riding on the back of the tiger ended up inside.  – John F. Kennedy

Calling a divorce lawyer for the first time is seldom easy.  You may never have worked with an attorney, and divorce may be something you never imagined yourself having to face.  Your head is probably filled with questions and concerns, worries and desires, and a will to square your shoulders and face whatever is ahead if you can find someone to watch your back.  Above all, you are wondering: How much will I have to pay my lawyer?  What does it cost to get divorced in Pennsylvania?

It’s a good question.  It’s a reasonable question.  Unless your situation is very straightforward, though, it’s also probably the one question that your lawyer can’t begin to answer in any meaningful way.  For anything beyond the most basic of services, there is simply no way to tell with any certainty.  Anybody who tries to tell you differently has something to sell you, and you should consider taking a good close look before you buy.

Abraham Lincoln famously pointed out that a lawyer’s time and advice are his stock in trade, and in most cases there are simply too many variables to permit your attorney to predict how much time your case will take.  Will your case settle or go all the way to trial?  Will we have to fight for every little thing?  Is your estate complex?  Are there many issues to resolve?  Will your spouse see reason, or instead fight battle after pointless battle out of sheer spite?

This uncertainty is why lawyers work on retainer instead of quoting fixed fees.  A “retainer” is nothing more than a fund of your money that has been put aside in escrow to ensure that your lawyer is paid for the time he will spend on your case.  Usually, when the fund is depleted it must be renewed.  Take a good look at the lawyer’s fee agreement before you sign it, to know what to expect.

Lawyers want to help people, and we want to make money doing it.  IOUs don’t cut it.  The grim reality of law practice is that when lawyers work without a retainer, we turn ourselves into credit cards.  Once upon a time I added up all the money that clients owed me and realized that I could have lived very well for a year on it.  Anyone in business learns to count on people to pay for what they still need before they pay for what they already have, every time.  Since I’m no fonder of working for free than you are, I changed my business practices.

Everybody has heard jokes about lawyers and money.  “It was so cold last winter, I saw a lawyer with his hands in his own pockets!”  Lawyers aren’t cheap, but neither is running a business in a highly competitive professional field.  We know what our service is worth, we know what we sacrificed to be able to offer it, and let’s be honest: lawyers don’t enter into private practice to be poor.

What do you get for your money when you pay your lawyer?  Your money’s worth, if your lawyer is ethical and knows what he is doing.  You hire a legal professional because you have high expectations of skilled service, and you deserve to get it.

Below are some truths about lawyers and money, and some advice to help you get the biggest bang for your legal buck.

Pick the right lawyer.
I have already written about what you should expect from a good family law attorney, as well as what your attorney can expect from you.  Be prepared to listen to advice, be prepared to take advice, and make sure that you partner with your lawyer rather than dropping off your case as if you were leaving your car with a mechanic.

Don’t play if you can’t pay.
Having practiced family law for about two decades, I have no illusions about what I cost or how that cost can add up.  Consider, though, that putting money on account with a skilled divorce lawyer is like putting coal in a furnace.  Do you want your lawyer engaged and oriented on your case, ready to negotiate but prepared to fight?  Do you want regular updates that show your case moving forward assertively?  Do you want promptly returned calls, detailed answers to your questions and creative approaches?  Make sure that your retainer is maintained.  We all like to be paid, and the simple truth is that a lawyer (like anyone else with a business to run) is far more eager to focus on serving the clients who pay him now, over the ones who offer even the most sincere good intentions.  Don’t expect your lawyer to work for promises instead of pay.  Would you?

Prepare to stay the course.
Getting a lawyer started on your divorce and then balking at payment (or running out of resources, which amounts to the same thing) can be the courthouse equivalent of trying to ride a roller coaster halfway.  If you have any doubts about your fortitude, available resources or willingness to follow through with what you start, discuss them with your family law attorney before you get on the tiger’s back.

Have definite, reality-checked goals.
Goals can always be subject to change, of course, but anyone who goes into a fight without a reasonably-defined set of goals is setting him- or herself up to lose, and lose badly.  Let your lawyer help you set realistic, achievable goals and explore your options.  Abandon the concept of “winning” and replace it with “achieving.”  Battling without a goal, or with conflicting goals, is like a racing without a finish line; it may be good for your lawyer’s wallet, but not for much else.

Don’t expect your lawyer to run a tab or accept “payments.”
Your divorce lawyer understands that your resources are limited and will discuss with you how best to use them, but can’t – and shouldn’t – turn into a credit card for you.  He or she is running a business and not a charity, and almost certainly will not accept installment payments.  Don’t take it personally.  No family lawyer with any mileage in him has avoided being stiffed by a client at least once.  I have had clients turn deadbeat on me for whom I achieved every last goal, and many years ago I even had a client who tried to pay me in chickens.  Sadly, my bank would not let me deposit them.

Work for sunshine, but plan for rain.
Gather your resources.  Expect your divorce to cost more than you think, and do your best to make sure that funds are available.  Discuss with your divorce lawyer any concerns about your available resources as early as possible so that he or she can advise you of your options before you find yourself overcommitted.

Follow your lawyer’s advice.
I often tell clients, “I can be your sword-and-shield, or your broom-and-dustpan.”  In my experience, clients who follow my advice do better than clients who do not, if for no other reason than that there is less to clean up if everything is done right the first time.  Don’t force your lawyer to become your apologist.  It is seductively easy to fall into the trap of defiant non-cooperation (after all, where was the cooperation when you needed it?), but the fact of the matter is that any divorce process has a give-and-take that is part of the ticket price you have to pay to get your day in court.  Your legal fees go up with every reminder your lawyer has to send you, and with every defense he has to make to buy you additional time or to shield you from sanctions.

Drama is expensive.
Ignore what prime time television teaches you about law practice.  I’m as fond of real-life courtroom drama as any of my colleagues, but most of a good lawyer’s efforts in a divorce case are as undramatic as can be.  We prepare, consult and negotiate.  We investigate.  We organize, digest and summarize records.  We consult with you, update you, and answer your questions.  We research and draft documents as we prepare your case.  All of this takes billable time, and meanwhile it is easy for a client to think, “I’m paying all this money, but I don’t see anything happening in my case!”  Think of building a case as building a car engine: inert while it is being built and invisible to the rest of the world when it is finished, but swift and powerful when the time comes for rubber to meet road.  Your lawyer should be keeping you up to date and also touching base with you as your case develops, as well as seeking ways to avoid expensive conflict.  If you have any doubts or concerns about what is going on in your case, you have every right to contact your lawyer and inquire.  A good divorce lawyer will be glad for your active involvement, will respect your concerns, and will address them directly.

Avoid getting into conflict with your own divorce attorney.
An adversarial relationship with your lawyer helps no one and can run up your legal bills pointlessly.  If you don’t understand or agree with what your lawyer is doing, discuss it.  Part of your lawyer’s job is to address your concerns, and to make sure that you have as much information as possible so that you are best able to make sound decisions.  Sometimes, that means telling you a harsh or painful truth even if it is not what you want to hear.  People who have been wronged by the ones they trusted most of all never want to be told that their goals are unachievable or that their positions are unsustainable, but the divorce attorney who hesitates to advise a client frankly does his client no favors.  As a professional, I want to offer you better advice than you might get from the person on the next bar-stool!

Lawyer-client relationships can sometimes go bad, just as any other relationship can.  Sometimes the lawyer is the problem, sometimes the client, and sometimes it is just bad chemistry between them.  First, foremost and always your case is yours, and your lawyer should respect that even as he or she tries to make sure that your choices don’t leave you standing in your own way.  If you are not comfortable with your lawyer or his choices, never forget that you are free to seek a second opinion or even to hire another lawyer entirely.  Before you do that, though, consider reality-checking your own impressions and conduct to make sure that “changing horses” really is the right medicine for the situation.

Keep communications with your lawyer topical and to the point.
A good divorce lawyer wears as many hats as his client needs: counselor, advocate, confessor, friend, confidante, hand-holder, shoulder to cry on, sounding board, and occasionally (and reluctantly) a janitor.  It all comes at a price, though, so each time you contact your lawyer remember that somewhere in the background a clock is ticking.  Don’t engage in false economy by rushing through a call, but do keep good records, take good notes, and keep your communications concise and to the point.  I like to build relationships with my clients and am often happy to chat with them, but I always make it a point to tell a client that I am taking myself “off the clock” as soon as the conversation turns in that direction.  If your own lawyer seems to be drifting into chatter, there is nothing wrong with asking to keep the conversation focused on the business at hand until it has been fully addressed.

Avoid false economy.
Save money today by riding on bald tires, and you risk paying more tomorrow when one of them bursts or hydroplanes you off the road.  It’s the same with legal advice.  Even if you cannot afford a lawyer to work for you as an advocate, consulting with someone who deals every day with family law matters is likely to offer you new perspectives, suggestions and possible solutions that will help ensure that when you make your move, your eyes are fully open.  One of the very best things any client can say to me is, “Wow, I never really thought about it that way.”  Sometimes, an ounce of prevention really is worth a pound of cure.  There are times when it seems that what my client needs most of all is a time machine, so that we can discuss a difficult situation before it escalated into a crisis!

If you need legal assistance with your divorce or family law matter in Southwestern Pennsylvania, call me to set up a personal consultation. This blog will feature regular updates.  Consider subscribing! Please do not post anonymously, and do not post anything that you consider confidential.  I try to be responsive to commentary and questions, but know that posting here will not create an attorney/client relationship and that I will not offer legal advice via the Internet.  In addition to this blog, you will find helpful articles and information on my web page at http://www.spousealouse.com/

Michael B. Greenstein
8012 Westmoreland Avenue
Pittsburgh, PA  15218

Phone: 412-656-7557
Fax: 412-244-1854
http://www.spousealouse.com
“If your spouse is a louse”

Arthur’s Axe: a Lawyer’s Tale

The Knights were all assembled, and their chatter settled into an expectant quiet as King Arthur strode into the glade.  Sir Lancelot stepped forward and knelt before his king.  “My Liege,” he said, “we wait upon your pleasure.  Why have you brought us into these woods?”

King Arthur smiled, and spoke so that all his knights could hear.  “Each of you sits at my Round Table because you have proven yourself worthy, time and time again,” he said, “and I hold the least of you above the best of all other men.  But no sword besides mine stays sharp by itself, and to hone you all this day I offer a challenge to any who wish to please me and earn my special favor.”  He gestured at the young oak next to him, which had an axe leaning against its base.  “I have had Merlin make a spell to ensure that only the worthiest may fell this tree.  Will any step forward?”

Surprised, Lancelot stood and faced his king with injured pride.  “You would use us as axemen?  This tree is no enemy of yours, worthy to fall before a knight.  Yet since you command it, this meanest task becomes a knightly deed.  I will chop your wood.”  He strode forward, seized the axe, and with one powerful motion threw a blow so mighty that ten trees might have fallen before it.

The axe bounced from the tree as might a thrown pebble, and then fell to the ground from Lancelot’s numbed fingers.  The other Knights laughed as Lancelot’s features flushed red in angry shame, but King Arthur quieted them with a gesture.  “Laughing is easy when the failure is another’s.  Who will take his place?”

Sir Bedivere stepped forward and bowed.  “My king, I will.  If I succeed I earn your favor, and if I fail I stand with Lancelot.”  He glared at his companions.  “I see no shame in either.”  He, too, picked up the axe and swung it in a deadly arc, but yet made no mark upon the tree.

This time, there was no laughter.  This was serious business now — knight’s business — and a grim quiet fell, punctuated only by battle cries followed by groans of failure.  One by one each knight hefted the axe and swung, and one by one each knight stepped back with a grimace of defeat and a curse for a bespelled tree.

When the last knight dropped the axe and stepped away, King Arthur gazed at them all for a long moment.  “I see fallen pride today, but a standing tree.  Will none of you try again?  Is there no one to fell this tree for me?”

From behind the knights came a hesitant voice.  “If I am not being too bold, Your Majesty, may I serve you as you require?”  The king nodded, and a squire bearing a pack on his shoulders stepped forward and knelt.  “May it please you, my king, I gather wood often for my knight’s fire while he rests from the field or from the hunt.  I have no strength so great as he, and the sound of chopping disturbs his sleep, so I use this, instead.”  The squire drew a saw from his pack, and at another nod from the king he began cutting at the tree.  The knights were astonished to see sawdust begin to fall, and it was not much more than a minute before the tree came down with a crash and a rustling of leaves.

“What is your name, squire?” asked King Arthur.

“William of Riverbend, Majesty, but I am called Wat.  I am squire to Sir Dinadan,” he said.  That knight seemed less than pleased by the moment’s attention.

“Look at this man,” said the King to the assembled company.  “A squire only, yet he succeeded where you failed; not because he has greater strength, nor finer bravery, nor fiercer loyalty.  Not because he could best all of you on the listfield.  He is worthy because he understood what I required of him.  I challenged each of you to fell that tree.  I said nothing about an axe!  Yet each of you picked up what had failed your brothers and hewed away, thinking somehow to best both Lancelot’s arm and Merlin’s magic with your might.  Some battles are won with valor and well-aimed blows, but others need eyes to see beyond what has been placed before them.  The worthiest knight learns to tell which ones are which.  Merlin’s spell was never on the tree… it was on the axe.”

From that day forward and for many years thereafter, King Arthur would often listen to the wise counsel of Sir William Oaksbane of Riverbend, who knew that there are times when the direct approach of an axe is best to solve a problem, but also that sometimes one must imitate the saw and come at the problem sideways.

If you need legal assistance with your divorce or family law matter in Southwestern Pennsylvania, call me to set up a personal consultation. This blog will feature regular updates.  Consider subscribing! Please do not post anonymously, and do not post anything that you consider confidential.  I try to be responsive to commentary and questions, but know that posting here will not create an attorney/client relationship and that I will not offer legal advice via the Internet.  In addition to this blog, you will find helpful articles and information on my web page at http://www.spousealouse.com/

Michael B. Greenstein
8012 Westmoreland Avenue
Pittsburgh, PA  15218

Phone: 412-656-7557
Fax: 412-244-1854
http://www.spousealouse.com
“If your spouse is a louse”

How to find a good divorce lawyer in Pennsylvania

I busted a mirror and got seven years bad luck, but my lawyer thinks he can get me five. — Steven Wright

You need legal help, and you are resolved to go looking for a good divorce lawyer.  You don’t know anyone who knows anyone, so you’re left to your own resources.  You are not sure what you’re in for or whether you can afford it, and the last thing you want is to end up saddled with someone who can’t help you or doesn’t care, and there goes the retainer money.  Lawyers are as common as grains of sand at the beach, and at first glance they all look pretty much the same.  How do you choose a good divorce attorney in Pennsylvania?  (Well, other than by calling me at my Pittsburgh family law office, that is.)

Why hire a lawyer at all?
Could you handle your own case and keep the money you would have paid?  Maybe.  Maybe not.  People hire lawyers for the same reason that you would hire a roofer when you discover a leak.  Technically, there is nothing stopping you from climbing the ladder yourself with a handful of shingles and a box of nails, but most people would rather get help from the person who knows the job and has been doing it for years.  Case preparation begins long before you see the inside of a courtroom, and a skilled lawyer can do much more than marshal evidence and stand tall for you in front of the judge; he can offer you not only options you might otherwise have missed, but also ongoing guidance to help you maximize the potential of your situation from the very beginning.  A lawyer also has no emotional involvement in your situation, guaranteeing a cool, objective and educated head in your corner at all times.

Throw away your Yellow Pages.
You probably already figured this one out for yourself.  For all the money that people still spend on print advertising, it seems to me that overall it is a dead advertising form.  An eye-catching ad is no longer enough, whether you are looking for a lawyer or a used car.  People want to know more about a lawyer than that he can afford the cost of a print advertisement.

Do your research.
When you look for a used car, you want to know about not just the model, but also the individual vehicle: its mileage, its condition, and its repair history.  You want to get behind the wheel and learn something about how it handles on the road during ordinary conditions, and to get an idea of how responsive it will be when things get dicey.  You certainly don’t want to be left broken down on the roadside!  Since a lawyer’s services can cost you anything from a few hundred dollars (for a simple matter) to the cost of that used car (if your case becomes very contentious), shouldn’t you be just as thorough before you buy?

Word of mouth.
If you don’t already know a good Pennsylvania family law attorney, there is no substitute for a personal referral to a lawyer.  You’re off to an excellent start if someone can tell you, “Attorney __________ handled my divorce and child custody case, and he won’t steer you wrong.”  Talk to the lawyer yourself and make your own evaluation, of course, but in a field where the professional license carried by the best lawyer in town is just the same as the license carried by the worst, there is nothing like a good recommendation from a dependable source to get you started on the right path.  Even if you don’t know someone who knows someone… maybe you know someone who knows someone who knows someone.  These days, asking around can be as simple as posting a Facebook status.  Meanwhile…

Look for a lawyer on the Web.
More and more, it seems that if an attorney doesn’t have a good Internet presence he might as well not exist.  The Web offers you a chance to see beyond what a divorce lawyer’s advertising firm wants you to know.  You can learn in advance what the lawyer has to say (and to say for himself), and what kind of useful information he can offer you, before you even hire him.  Professional family law blogs such as this one, web-based informative articles, client reviews, and other convenient online resources allow you to assemble a deeper picture of the professional you are thinking of retaining.  In the final analysis, no matter how “corporate” a law firm is, your relationship will be with the individual lawyer who is handling or supervising your case.  Get to know him.

Lawyers pay to be found on the Web, of course, just as much as they pay to be found in the Yellow Pages (if not more!).  Even if you decide to go through Google or another public search engine that offers results without cost to the sites they show you, you can bet that the law firms showing up at the top of your keyword search paid good money to have their web sites designed and “optimized” to maximize the number of searches that will bring their sites to the top of the list.  I certainly did!  Read what the websites have to say, but recognize that there is a fair chance that unless authorship is specifically credited to the divorce lawyer you are researching, you are reading professional ad copy written by someone other than the attorney.

If you don’t know where to start, there are plenty of websites designed to help you (some better than others, so use your judgment).  Here are a few of them, along with my comments:

Google keyword search.  This is a fair starting point.  It can be like drinking from a firehose, but with a little patience and judgment you can get some very good basic information about Pennsylvania divorce and family law in general, and about the family lawyers in your area (and what they have to say).  Once you have some likely prospects, look particularly for articles, blogs or other writings authored by the divorce attorney you are researching.

Pennsylvania Supreme Court Disciplinary Board.  This will not help you find a lawyer, but it will help you make sure that a lawyer you are investigating is in good standing with the Pennsylvania bar.  All lawyers admitted to the bar in Pennsylvania will be registered here.

Avvo.  I like Avvo quite a bit.  It creates profiles for individual lawyers that they can “claim” and add useful information such as areas of practice and professional history, and — especially important — some of the critical information on the profile is out of the lawyer’s control.  The site “rates” lawyers according to an arbitrary point system that I view more than a little skeptically (e.g., young lawyers rated with more experience than old warhorses), but it does identify important information such as the length of time the attorney has been licensed, and whether there have been disciplinary issues.  It lets clients rate attorneys.  It gives lawyers the opportunity to submit articles that you can access from their profiles, and (for lawyers who participate) you can see how they answered short legal questions posted by others.  Feel free to take a peek at my own profile on Avvo, as an example.

Findlaw.  This is one of many “find a lawyer” directories that might help you narrow the field.  This is a directory that lawyers pay to participate in, but it is a handy collection of successful local lawyers in the discipline you seek, along with links to their websites.

Talk to your prospects.
The more involved your case, the closer you are going to be working with your lawyer.  Don’t make the mistake of thinking that this is going to be like working with a mechanic; after all, you can’t just “drop off” your case and come by later to pay the bill and drive it away.  Talk to this person, listen to this person, and see how comfortable you feel at the prospect of making important life decisions under this person’s guidance and protection.  A lawyer should be willing to give you at least a few minutes on the telephone before charging you anything at all, both to get a sense of your case and to give you a sense of who you are dealing with.  Don’t expect the lawyer to give you a full consultation by telephone, or to give you more than about ten or fifteen minutes — our time is what we sell, after all — but that is plenty of time to get at least a general idea of whether this person is worth more of your time, as well as your money.

Value a lawyer’s experience, knowledge and personality over his price.
I realize that this sounds a little self-serving, but give it some thought.  There is no virtue in paying more for something than you have to, but neither is there virtue in false economy.  All lawyers are not created equal.  An inexperienced attorney can give you book-learning, whereas an experienced attorney understands the law and how it applies to your case.  An experienced attorney has a strong working familiarity with the court system and its personnel, and can give you not just his own knowledge, but also the experience of many other clients who have faced issues not much different than yours.  He can help you learn from the mistakes of others, choose which battles not to fight, and will help you make the most out of your circumstances long before it is time to go to court.

Incidentally, beware of proud-but-empty boasts like, “Over 30 years of combined experience!”  Experience doesn’t combine.

A family lawyer’s attitude also matters.  There is a particular child support case from several years ago that comes to my mind, in which both parents were full-time, W-2 wage-earners.  Because the Pennsylvania Child Support Guidelines are fairly straightforward when nobody is fighting over earning capacity and there are no other issues, I proposed to my opposing counsel that we exchange income information, run the numbers, and see if we could enter into a consent order that would spare everyone a trip to court.  “No,” said the other lawyer, very matter-of-factly, “If I do that, I don’t get to charge my client to appear at the hearing.”  Jaw, meet floor.  That’s not how I do business — to my mind, I can’t do that and still call myself a professional — but greedy lawyers like that are out there.  So are the angry ones, so are the cynical ones, so are the self-important and self-impressed ones.  So are the inexperienced ones.  Even if you find them at a cheaper hourly rate, all of them can end up costing you more money than necessary as they spend extra billable time to berate, inflate or educate at your expense.

Retain the professional, not the price tag.

What to expect from your family law attorney.
I have written a lengthy article about what to expect from a divorce lawyer.  If you retain someone and he does not appear to be living up to your expectations, never fear getting a second opinion or a “reality check” from another attorney.  Never forget that this is your case, and that long after your lawyer has moved on to other matters you will still be living the consequences of your choices.  Make sure that you choose a divorce lawyer who seems to understand that essential truth.

If you need legal assistance with your divorce or family law matter in Southwestern Pennsylvania, call me to set up a personal consultation. This blog will feature regular updates.  Consider subscribing! Please do not post anonymously, and do not post anything that you consider confidential.  I try to be responsive to commentary and questions, but know that posting here will not create an attorney/client relationship and that I will not offer legal advice via the Internet.  In addition to this blog, you will find helpful articles and information on my web page at http://www.spousealouse.com/

Michael B. Greenstein
8012 Westmoreland Avenue
Pittsburgh, PA  15218

Phone: 412-656-7557
Fax: 412-244-1854
http://www.spousealouse.com
“If your spouse is a louse”

I got served with divorce or custody papers in PA. What do I do?

Lawyers are men whom we hire to protect us from lawyers. — Elbert Hubbard

Maybe you were expecting this, maybe not, but here it comes: your spouse has filed a Complaint for divorce or child custody (or both!), and now you hold papers in your hand that ominously proclaim: “YOU HAVE BEEN SUED IN COURT.”  The closest you ever got to a courtroom before today was fighting a traffic ticket.  What do you do now?

Don’t panic.
Douglas Adams had it right: DON’T PANIC. You will get through this.  So will your children.  Even if the papers you hold impose deadlines, schedule events for you to attend or require payment of fees, odds are that you have at least a couple weeks of breathing room.  You have the chance to make good use of the time you have, and more options than you probably think you do.  The key not just to survival, but also to success, is above all to keep your head together and to keep reminding yourself: don’t work hard, work smart.

You have been sued in court.
Even a friendly divorce process (well, as friendly as they get) is still a lawsuit.  Your spouse, as the Plaintiff, wants something from you that the court has the power to grant.  That does not automatically mean that you are going to fight about your divorce, or your property, or your children, but it does mean that your rights and options are going to be affected.  When you read the Notice to Defend, take it seriously.  Your actions (or your inaction) will have consequences.  Educate yourself as thoroughly as you can about where you stand and what your options are, so that the decisions you make are informed ones; in this game, “do-overs” are rare, and often expensive.  If you are unsure of your rights, options and obligations or how to exercise or fulfill them, spending a little money now to meet with a lawyer to discuss matters might save you from having to spend a lot of money, later.  Let your rule of thumb be: never guess when you can know for sure.

Anatomy of a Complaint.
COVER SHEET: this tells you who versus whom, what particular court is involved, the title of the document, on whose behalf it was filed, and how to contact the lawyer who filed it.  A miniature version of this will appear as a “caption” at the top of many documents connected with your court process.

NOTICE TO DEFEND: this is a series of warnings intended to get your attention and encourage you to take this seriously.  Take this seriously!  It will offer you contact information for the local bar association or lawyer referral service, if you do not already know how to hire a lawyer.  As a wise reader, though, you already know that all you really have to do is to call the telephone number at the bottom of this article!

THE BODY OF THE COMPLAINT.  This will be a series of numbered paragraphs, each one making an assertion of fact.  At the end of each set of factual allegations will be a short paragraph beginning with the word “WHEREFORE,” that tells the court what the Plaintiff wants it to do (e.g., legally dissolve your marriage, divide property, award custody of children).  This invokes the jurisdiction of the court over the issues identified, and sets the stage for whatever litigation is going to happen next (if any).

VERIFICATION PAGE.  The Plaintiff has signed an affidavit stating that the facts he or she alleged in the Complaint are true, subject to criminal penalties for unsworn falsifications.  Don’t let the words “criminal penalties” give you any ideas about “getting” your spouse or co-parent for errors or misstatements, though.  Overall, Family Court is unlikely to be interested in arguments over the kind of “technicalities” you hear about in criminal trials.

SUPPORTING DOCUMENTS.  There may or may not be additional documents that were served on you with the Complaint, or that you will receive afterward.  They can include information sheets in connection with a support claim, orders to participate in child custody-related educational or dispute resolution programs, instructions to pay fees, or a document stating that your marriage is irretrievably broken and that two or more years have passed since your final separation.

A note about that last item: if you are served with a document called an “Affidavit under Section 3301(d) of the Divorce Code,” which states that your marriage is irretrievably broken and that two or more years have passed since your final separation, you are probably facing a deadline of not more than 40 days either to do something affirmative to protect your rights as a spouse, or to risk losing them when a divorce decree is awarded without need for your consent.

Read everything both carefully and thoroughly.
The papers you hold are your spouse’s or co-parent’s representations to the court about what is going on, and what he or she wants the court to do about it.  They will tell you what he or she is asking for, and (by its absence) what isn’t being requested at this time.  They may contain instructions to attend programs, or to pay fees.  They may include deadlines.  If action or a response is necessary, and you do not act or respond as the court instructs, there are consequences that can be severely negative.  Don’t stick your head in the sand; of all the luxuries you cannot afford, that is the most dangerous of them all.

Often, people will find that all their spouse wants is the piece of paper saying that the marriage is dissolved, because all the Complaint asks for is a Decree in Divorce.  If that is the case the matter can be relatively simple, but be sure that you, yourself do not want anything else out of the situation before you decide to cooperate, or to allow matters to go forward without your opposition.

Should I call my ex’s lawyer?
If you are unrepresented, you can contact your spouse’s or co-parent’s lawyer if you wish, to discuss the case and any possible resolution.  If you decide to make the call be polite and civil, and know that you have a right to the same treatment from him.  Remember that you are calling someone whose job is to protect and advance the interests of someone who wants something from you, whether you want to give it or not.  However polite or courteous he is — and he should be! — you can count on the lawyer listening to everything you say with a keen ear, hoping to learn something that he can turn to his client’s advantage if push comes to shove.  Keep your conversation on-topic and to the point, and don’t bother trying to convince him that you are in the right and your spouse or co-parent is in the wrong; he’s being paid to do a job, so even if you convince him personally, you won’t convince him professionally.  Every lawyer has his game-face, and that’s the only one you get to see when you deal with him.  He might be able to answer your questions (except for giving you legal advice, which he can never do), and he might (and should) be telling you the literal truth… but not necessarily the complete truth.  Never forget that he has a client to serve and protect, and a set of goals to achieve.  Get any promises he may make in writing; a good lawyer will understand why you want that, and will deal with you as fairly as possible subject to his duties to his client.  The bottom line here is that the only person in the situation whose job is to protect your interests is you, unless you decide to retain an attorney for yourself.  Keep your eyes and ears open, and your critical mind engaged.

Should I file an answer to the Complaint with the court?
Family lawsuits in Pennsylvania are handled differently than civil lawsuits.  Pennsylvania law does not require that divorce and child custody defendants file an answer to Complaints.  There are times when filing such an answer is desirable anyway, and also times when it is also desirable (or necessary) to file claims of your own in response to a divorce Complaint or a child custody Complaint.  There are circumstances (especially if you are being sued for divorce under the ground of Irretrievable Breakdown) that if you do not challenge your opponent’s claims or raise claims of your own in a timely fashion, you can lose important rights.  Educate yourself, and if you are at all in doubt, talk to a lawyer sooner rather than later!  It is better to get information while there is time to do something about it, than to wish that you had.  I can’t tell you how many times in my career I have wished for a time machine, to let me go back months or years to help a client when he or she could have used my help the most.

Set clear and achievable goals.
Don’t fight just to fight, and don’t allow yourself to be provoked into going to great lengths just to “set the record straight.”  The paperwork in your hand tells you what your spouse or co-parent wants out of the situation, and now is the time to consider what you want.  Stay focused.  Make sure that your goals are reasonable and reasonably achievable, remembering that some forms of justice are beyond the authority or willingness of a court to award and must be left to a higher authority.  Consulting with a lawyer can give you a useful “reality check” that your goals are achievable, and can offer you guidance about how to go about achieving them.  Think of the court as a dance hall, and take the opportunity to learn the steps now that the music has started.

Dealing with deadlines and court dates.
There is an old Latin expression: festina lente, or “hurry slowly.”  Haste is not the same thing as speed, and just as in a distance race, starting promptly and pacing yourself can be the key to success.  You need not fear deadlines if you organize yourself and your resources, get the information you need, and prepare yourself properly.  If you are represented, make sure that your attorney is telling you what you need to do, and what you can expect.  Take deadlines and appointments very, very seriously.  Know what you are getting into before you get into it.  Be where the court says you need to be, pay what the court says you need to pay, and be fully prepared to proceed when you arrive at your appointment.  Court is most frightening to those who are unprepared, and who have no understanding of what they are in for.  That can be fixed if you are willing to be attentive, proactive and diligent.

If you need legal assistance with your divorce or family law matter in Southwestern Pennsylvania, call me to set up a personal consultation. This blog will feature regular updates.  Consider subscribing! Please do not post anonymously, and do not post anything that you consider confidential.  I try to be responsive to commentary and questions, but know that posting here will not create an attorney/client relationship and that I will not offer legal advice via the Internet.  In addition to this blog, you will find helpful articles and information on my web page at http://www.spousealouse.com/

Michael B. Greenstein
8012 Westmoreland Avenue
Pittsburgh, PA  15218

Phone: 412-656-7557
Fax: 412-244-1854
http://www.spousealouse.com
“If your spouse is a louse”

On being a lawyer of good reputation, and why that matters

There’s an old joke about two friends wandering a cemetery.  As they stroll, reading the headstones, they encounter an interesting epitaph: Here lies a lawyer and a good man.  Neither of them can figure out why anyone would bury two people in the same grave.

Contrary to popular belief, lawyers really are human, most of them are good men and women, and you will find among them the same diversity of personality types and skill sets as you might encounter in any other field of human endeavor.  The kind of person a lawyer is matters, and will go a long way toward defining the relationship he has with his clients.  What a lawyer does, though, and how he approaches his work, is what defines him before his colleagues and before the court.  Lawyers talk, judges talk, and for better or worse a lawyer’s reputation will spread: this lawyer turns everything into a fight and refuses to settle because he knows he makes more money that way, and that lawyer won’t allege anything she can’t back up with fifty pages of documentation, so don’t waste time and effort second-guessing her.  Reputation accumulates, and it remains.

A lawyer’s reputation among his colleagues
As an elementary school student I went on a field trip to a courtroom, to watch a trial in progress.  The lawyers for each side spoke to us afterward, and I was surprised to learn that not only didn’t they dislike each other, they were friends who often went out to lunch together.  The world of the practicing lawyer, especially one whose discipline (like mine) is largely confined to one area of practice, is a fairly small one.  We encounter the same opponents time and again, and the same judges.  We get to know each other, and we share information (and sometimes, gossip!) about our colleagues, and about our own experiences with them.

A lawyer with a good reputation is simply more effective on behalf of his clients than a lawyer with a bad one.  If my colleagues already know that I don’t bluster and will follow through on a threat, they are more likely to compromise.  If they know that I will advise my clients to conduct themselves sensibly, they are more likely to advise their own clients to do the same.  If they know that I don’t fight just for the sake of fighting, they are more likely to work with me to reduce the scope of a dispute.  The net result for the client can include more effective representation, a greater likelihood of settlement, and substantial cost savings.

A lawyer’s reputation before the court: an unexpected lesson
I received a powerful lesson several years ago about just how much my own professional reputation matters, when I was called to handle an especially tragic case.  A fourteen year-old young lady had been living with her father for two or three years with little or no contact from her mother (who had a history of drug use as well as other personal issues).  All was well until her father suffered a heart attack that killed him within two days.  The girl’s aunt and uncle came to Pittsburgh from Texas to care for her, and asked her if she wanted to come to Texas to live with them.  She agreed.

Meanwhile, the girl’s mother (who was unemployed, and who showed at trial that she needed help even to balance her own checkbook) decided that it was time for her daughter to move in with her, so she brought a motion before the court asking for custody.  I opposed it on behalf of the girl’s aunt and uncle, and the judge turned the matter into an impromptu shelter hearing.

The judge listened to the mother as she explained why she believed that she should have custody of her daughter despite the years that had passed since their last contact.  Then, it was my turn.  I began by pointing out to the judge that at least one of the facts alleged in the mother’s petition was incorrect: she had checked the box alleging that child protective services had never been involved in the case, when in fact they had been involved extensively some years before.  Having heard no more than that, having seen none of the documents I was prepared to offer as proof, the judge suddenly turned to the mother and said with anger, “Ma’am, you’re a liar.”  You won’t be surprised to learn that the bereaved young lady left for Texas the next day.

The shock of the judge’s sudden response, favorable to me though it was, remains fresh within me all these years later, along with the realization that had I not been able to back up my statement, my reputation before the court (and with it, my career!) would have been dead, dead, dead.

That is what a lawyer with a good reputation can offer his client.   Abraham Lincoln once said, “A lawyer’s time and advice are his stock in trade.”  That is certainly true, but when it comes to successful representation, a lawyer’s good reputation can add substantial authority to his efforts and a bad one can torpedo them utterly.

A second lesson
Some time afterward I found myself in court before a new family law judge, arguing against a former wife’s motion to open a divorce decree to allow her to file economic claims against my client that otherwise would be unavailable to her.  The judge was not only new to the bench, he was new to family law.  To educate himself as he worked to decide the case, the judge asked me to explain to him how a no-fault divorce is processed in Pennsylvania.

Lawyers are not just counselors and advocates; we are also Officers of the Court, with an affirmative responsibility to disclose accurately to the court the law that applies to the case the court must decide.  As I explained divorce law and procedure to the judge (and, as it turned out, won the case), the thought foremost in my mind was: if I do a good job of explaining the law he will remember me, and if I don’t… he will remember me.  No pressure!

A closing thought
In my experience, the lawyer who cares about his reputation is also likely to be someone who cares enough about those he represents to make sure that his actions are about his clients instead of being mainly about him.  We are all in this business to make a living, of course, but it seems to me that one of the things that a lawyer must do to justify being called a “professional” is to subscribe to a basic humility in his approach to his practice, that demonstrates his overall concern and commitment to the welfare of his clients.

After all, word gets around.

If you need legal assistance with your divorce or family law matter in Southwestern Pennsylvania, call me to set up a personal consultation.  This blog will feature regular updates.  Consider subscribing! Please do not post anonymously, and do not post anything that you consider confidential.  I try to be responsive to commentary and questions, but know that posting here will not create an attorney/client relationship and that I will not offer legal advice via the Internet.  In addition to this blog, you will find helpful articles and information on my web page at http://www.spousealouse.com/

Michael B. Greenstein
8012 Westmoreland Avenue
Pittsburgh, PA  15218

Phone: 412-656-7557
Fax: 412-244-1854
http://www.spousealouse.com
“If your spouse is a louse”

Sure, he’s a good lawyer… but can he SING?

My daddy is a movie actor, and sometimes he plays the good guy, and sometimes he plays the lawyer. — Malcolm Ford, to his preschool classmates on what his father (actor Harrison Ford) does for a living.

And now, for something completely different.

It seems to me that genuine success in life involves taking seriously what I do and create, while taking myself much less seriously.  If a lawyer takes himself too seriously, he risks making his professional efforts more about himself than about his client, and in that way ends up serving the wrong person.

During the day, I serve my clients.  This weekend and next, though, I serve my audience.  If you want to find out whether I can carry a tune as well as I carry a case, now is your chance to find out!

I have had a passion for theatrical performance since my teenage years, and a special place in my heart for the Victorian-era operettas of Gilbert and Sullivan.  I started performing them in college, and when I arrived in Pittsburgh in 1988 to go to law school I quickly discovered The Pittsburgh Savoyards and became active.  Behind the scenes I spent about ten years as a Trustee and two as President working to keep this volunteer company strong, but all of that disappears the moment the music starts, the curtain goes up and the lights blind me to the audience I came to entertain.

This weekend and next, for six performances, the curtain goes up again.  Tonight is the opening night of The Gondoliers, a merry tale of two brothers who learn that one of them is the hereditary king of the island kingdom of Barataria, stolen away as a baby and raised by a gondolier who could never remember which child was his own son, and which one was the prince.  When the two brothers — newly married — learn that whichever of them is king was married as a baby to the infant daughter of a Duke, things get a trifle complicated.  I play the role of Giuseppe Palmieri, one of the brothers (you will have to come see the show to find out who the king really is!).

Preparing for the stage is much like preparing for trial, but for some obvious differences: lines instead of argument, props instead of exhibits, and a costume instead of a suit… but there is a judge there, all the same.  In fact, there might be hundreds of them, each one in a comfortable seat, waiting for me to impress them with what I have to offer.

Can I manage it?  This time, for the price of a theater ticket, you can be the judge.  Performance times and other information may be found here.

If you need legal assistance with your divorce or family law matter in Southwestern Pennsylvania, call me to set up a personal consultation.  This blog will feature regular updates.  Consider subscribing! Please do not post anonymously, and do not post anything that you consider confidential.  I try to be responsive to commentary and questions, but know that posting here will not create an attorney/client relationship and that I will not offer legal advice via the Internet.  In addition to this blog, you will find helpful articles and information on my web page at http://www.spousealouse.com/

Michael B. Greenstein
8012 Westmoreland Avenue
Pittsburgh, PA  15218

Phone: 412-656-7557
Fax: 412-244-1854
http://www.spousealouse.com
“If your spouse is a louse”

Some questions to ask, before you file that cheap divorce!

I’m an excellent housekeeper.  Every time I get a divorce, I keep the house.
– Zsa Zsa Gabor

If you are like most people, you don’t want to spend any more money for something than you absolutely have to, whether you are fueling your car, repairing your roof or getting divorced.  Who wants to make a lawyer richer?  After all, you’ve worked out who is getting what, the kids are covered, and all you really need is the piece of paper that says you aren’t married.  It’s time to shop around for the lowest price, right?

Maybe.

Even the friendliest divorce proceeding is still a lawsuit, in a very literal sense.  You will be the Plaintiff, your spouse will be the Defendant, and you are asking a court of law to dissolve your marriage based on one of the grounds identified in Section 3301 of the Divorce Code.  Know what you are getting into.

Welcome to the divorce mill.
You’ve seen the ads.  Pennsylvania Divorce, just $[something cheap] complete!  No-fault divorce, simple and uncontested! It sounds almost like some kind of machine where married people go in one end, and single people come out the other.  What could be easier?   After all, as long as everyone is entirely in agreement and ready to cooperate, Pennsylvania does not require a divorcing couple to pass through the courthouse door.  In fact, many people do succeed in getting divorce decrees from these firms.  Many do not, however, and during the course of my career I have been hired by numerous “refugees” to sort out divorces that the mills failed to handle properly.  Before you pay the money and step into the machine, it is a good idea to ask a few questions.

Am I sure that my spouse will cooperate fully?
In my experience, a spouse who promises cooperation usually does cooperate… but not always.  Before you hire a law firm for your divorce based strictly on price rather than by skill and reputation, be very, very sure both of what services you are buying (and what services you are not buying!), and also that your spouse is on board with everything he or she will have to do to make sure that things go through without any hitches.  Don’t just assume, ask and be certain.

Am I sure that all I need is a divorce?
There are rights arising from marriage that have to be claimed through the court or protected by a written agreement, or they will be lost forever once the divorce becomes final.  These rights include alimony and court-ordered distribution of property and debt (including retirement assets).  Divorce is supposed to bring economic closure as well as personal closure, and leaving loose ends can have extremely negative personal and financial consequences.  When in doubt, consult a lawyer before taking any other action.  Sometimes, an ounce of prevention really is worth a pound of cure.

Who will be handling my divorce at the firm I choose?
A lawyer?  A paralegal?  A secretary?  Is the firm you are investigating able to tell you at all?  Divorce mills make their money from the huge volume of the cases they handle instead of from individual case files, so they need to handle them as impersonally and efficiently as possible.  That sort of business model requires that everything about how the divorce process is handled in-house needs to be thoroughly standardized, and then handed over to the lowest-paid person who can still do the work without spending too much time on any single case file.  For all anyone outside the firm can know, the closest an actual lawyer gets to reviewing and overseeing your divorce process could be to sign your divorce documents as part of a stack of forms placed on his desk.

Can I talk to a lawyer when I call the firm?
For that matter, can you talk to any human being at all?  Whoever it is who picks up the telephone when you call looking for someone to handle your divorce may also be the one you talk to when you call with a question about your case.  Can this person actually give you real information or at least put you in direct contact with somebody who can, or might you instead be talking to a receptionist whose job is mainly to find out where to send a pre-client information package?

What does the fee agreement promise?
Always read a fee agreement closely.  It will promise some things, and fail to promise others.  Is there someone at the firm who will answer your questions about it and explain the firm’s policies?  Can you call for a simple status check on your case or ask a quick question to a lawyer, without facing additional charges?

Where will my case be filed?
This is an especially important one.  There are two counties in north central Pennsylvania — Cameron County and Potter County — whose court administrators have figured out that the local court system can make extra money by hosting out-of-county divorce cases.  Their filing fees for divorces are particularly low, which makes them attractive to divorcing spouses who want to save money compared to what they might have to pay to file their cases closer to home.  Filing in these counties is perfectly legal under Pennsylvania law, and the divorce decrees they issue are entirely legitimate; but if your case hits any sort of a snag while it is in process, you are here, while your case is there. Most often the Cameron or Potter County court will drop a case like a hot potato at the first sign of trouble and order it transferred to your home county, leaving you to pay transfer fees at each end that make the case more expensive than if you had filed it locally to begin with.  If you are sure that your divorce process will be as smooth as silk, with no other issues to address, then the odds favor you being able to file there safely… but shouldn’t it be you who makes that decision? A good lawyer will inform you of all the risks before you take the out-of-county plunge, and leave the final decision to you.  Too many people with cases filed away from home have told me, over the years, that the law firms they hired never even told them that their cases would be filed out-of-county, let alone cautioning them about the potential hazards.  Be smart… be sure.

Will they handle my case as quickly as possible without extra charges?
I once read paperwork from a divorce mill that offered “fast,” “faster” and “fastest” divorce service, depending on what the client was willing to pay.  Since the court has certain procedural demands including (in many cases) minimum time requirements, it seems to me that the only way a law firm can offer faster processing of your divorce is by eliminating delays that were caused by the firm in the first place!

Will I get to review the paperwork before it is filed?
Before a Divorce Complaint may be filed in Pennsylvania, the Plaintiff has to sign (and attach) a statement called a “Verification” stating that the facts contained in the Complaint are true and correct to the best of his or her knowledge, subject to criminal penalties for making false statements.  Is the lawyer asking you to sign a Verification that the Complaint is true, before you have even read the Complaint?   Know for sure whether you will have the opportunity to check the Complaint for accuracy, and supply any necessary corrections, before it is filed.

Can you still represent me if a complication develops in my case?
If your spouse refuses to cooperate, if economic claims are raised, or if you discover something new that changes the way you want things to go forward, can your law firm still handle the case?  Will a lawyer be available to advise you about what to expect or what to do?

Can I offer information or ask about my case without extra charges?
A divorce mill will tend to discourage telephone contact after you have retained them, even if you are only asking about the status of your case or providing a change of address.  Client inquiries interfere with the orderly processing of the high volume of cases needed for the firm to remain profitable.  One of the ways a divorce mill can put a barrier between you and the person you need to speak with is by charging you extra money for any telephone contact at all, once you have retained them.  Review the fee agreement carefully for “hidden” charges before you sign it and pay the fee.  A discount can stop being a discount very quickly, if additional charges start to stack up!

Let the buyer beware.  As you look around for a law firm to handle your divorce, think about how you would shop for stereo equipment and consider approaching it the same way: think about what you really need, listen to the sales pitch, get a good idea of how your music will play on their system, and keep two important things in mind: first, that cheaper isn’t always better, and second, that a good speaker can make all the difference in the world.

If you need legal assistance with your divorce or family law matter in Southwestern Pennsylvania, call me to set up a personal consultation.  This blog will feature regular updates.  Consider subscribing! Please do not post anonymously, and do not post anything that you consider confidential.  I try to be responsive to commentary and questions, but know that posting here will not create an attorney/client relationship and that I will not offer legal advice via the Internet.  In addition to this blog, you will find helpful articles and information on my web page at http://www.spousealouse.com/

Michael B. Greenstein
8012 Westmoreland Avenue
Pittsburgh, PA  15218

Phone: 412-656-7557
Fax: 412-244-1854
http://www.spousealouse.com
“If your spouse is a louse”